One of the Rat Pups Just Died

The pups both seemed to thrive for several days and then one of them seemed to take a turn for the worse and seemed listless and wouldn't eat as heartily as the other. Todd had named them Rob and Bob for some reason. It was Bob that was struggling.

At times we thought he was doing fine and then he would seem smaller and weaker than Rob. We took them to the Oregon Country Fair with us on Saturday and I spent time there feeding them and let little children pet them a bit. Any time a child would spot the little special carrier we had purchased to carry them in to the fair, they would immediately want to know "what was in there?" I could have set up a special booth just to show off the baby rats!!

That night we camped out in the woods in another location far from the fair. We had gone to a dance out in the country and ended up camping out instead of driving the 35 miles back home. So at least Bob got to go to the Country Fair and go camping in his short little life!

I was awakened this am around 2 and went in to check on the "boys" as we affectionately called them. Last night we spent extra time holding them and playing with them after their last feeding. Bob was going from hand to hand repeatedly in Todd's hands. Later I realized he was hungry and wanted more milk. I switched to giving them organic half and half after a man at the fair told me to buy cream and dilute it. So I fed both of them again after we played with them. Rob really took to the half and half! He would guzzle some down and then fall backwards in ecstacy!! Bob drank some but just wasn't as good of a nurser.

So this morning when I woke with a jolt I went in to find Bob on his side panting. I picked him up and tried to give him a little drink and he wasn't very responsive. I thought maybe he had gotten dehydrated under the light. I realized that he probably wasn't going to make it. I stroked his little body and he panted a little more and then with one very beautiful stretch, bringing his limb towards each other and then away from each other like a cat....his little spirit left his body.

I went in with him on the little cloth napkin to the bedroom and woke Todd and told him that Bob just died. I cried as Todd held me a bit, but then I realized that Rob was in the kitchen alone unattended and our cat Pixel could easily jump up and get him out of the open container. So I sobbed my way back to the kitchen and decided to go outside and bury Bob. I put a cover over the container and went out into the cool night air. I found a beautiful squash leaf just the right size and put little Bob in the center of the leaf. I folded it in the shape of a nice little envelope and pulled a heavy rock from one of my garden beds. I put the little packet with Bob's little body into the earth and put the rock over it.

As the tears streamed down my face i went back in and fed Rob. I probably should have let him sniff his little brother to know that he was gone, but I didn't think of that until later. Rob's coat is turning a beautiful golden color over the last day or so. He is a perky little fellow.

Well, I gave Bob all that I had. It is very sad when you lose an animal in your care...even a sweet little rat! I have gone over and over in my mind what I could have done differently to help save this little wee one, but I know that I did the best that I could with the knowledge and tools at my disposal. I told Bob that I was sorry and I miss him. He was a sweet little fellow.

I am feeling so sad as I write this. I tried to get back into bed after I put Rob back in his container, but couldn't sleep. I thought it might be helpful to put my feelings down in writing. The tears and the sadness won't let me sleep. I guess I just need to sit and feel the feelings in my body and just let them be.